I dreaded my first full-time job. I hated it with a passion that I never realized I have in me. Every day I woke up to the most horrible dilemma: should I get out of bed and get to work or should I call in and tell my boss that I am sick. I just constantly wanted to hide or run somewhere far, far away.
Running away sounded absolutely amazing.
Yet, thinking that I should be a responsible adult, I managed to get there on time, faking a smile and getting things done for 8 - 10 hours per day. Also, I got into a habit of drinking absurd amounts of coffee every day, just to keep going.
I actually really liked the job itself – getting back to customers, checking documents, making sure that everything is OK. Working with my team was great. I loved people I worked with, that was hands on the best team I've ever had. We all started this job together at the same time and it was a perfect match. Everyone felt comfortable around each other.
People were the only reason that I stayed there for such a long time.
What was wrong then?
In short: it was all about the company. They loved their overtime. Targets were not reachable and they didn't have anything to do with what their employees could actually do. Management had no idea what people in their teams are doing and how are they supposed to do it. Harassment was considered a tactic to motivate people. The pressure was unbearable. On top of that, they started randomly firing people.
What happened to my rubbish job?
One day, after they announced another meaningless policy and after they decided to set targets (that no one was ever meeting in the first place) even higher, something clicked in me. I booked a long holiday leave, left town, had fun, ate amazing food, went on long walks and I quit the first day I got back. I couldn't stand the stress, the awful feeling I had in my stomach when I got ready before work. I figured that this is not the only company in the world and I don't really care about what I will be doing, as long as I do it for someone that respects me as a person.
I thought that if I feel so strongly about it, it will be just healthier for me to leave.
I thought that if I feel so strongly about it, it will be just healthier for me to leave.
Some time passed, I've had many jobs, from sales to a coach, recruiter and right now I am trying to get my own company going.
The reason I'm starting this blog is that I think that there are plenty of other people with career problems and emergencies out there and sharing stories and solutions is just the right thing to do.
The reason I'm starting this blog is that I think that there are plenty of other people with career problems and emergencies out there and sharing stories and solutions is just the right thing to do.
In here I will try to write about my take on different things that I saw as an employee/friend/coach through the years. If it helps someone else – great. Fingers crossed it does.
Also, this post is not an about rage quitting and burning bridges – this is about learning when to say 'no' and not staying where you should never be in the first place. If your workplace is clearly toxic, you hate being there to the point that your body hurts and you are afraid of what the day will bring – you need to go, quit and run away as soon as possible. Your health is more important. There are other jobs and it's OK to start looking now.
It turned out really well for me - my next job was amazing (I still keep in touch with some people from the office, even though I don't work there for quite some time now) and I never regretted my decision to find something new. I kinda wish I made up my mind sooner though. Maybe I wouldn't get so hooked on coffee as I am now. If you are in a similar situation - I really hope that everything will be OK and that you will find something better. Because believe me, you can.
Stay amazing!
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